In case you missed it, the rings that the Pillar Men wrapped around Joseph’s heart and throat in part 2 are called “the wedding rings of death”. It’s just a stylistic choice in the original story, but fans like to take it to its logical conclusion—that Joseph is technically engaged to both Esidisi and Wamuu.

This gag comic shows Joseph agonizing over who to choose, commenting that Wamuu seems like a demure wife while Esidisi is more seductive and mature. Caesar offers himself as a third option, and imagines himself and Joseph recreating Jonathan and Erina’s wedding photo in the exact same outfits. It’s a tough decision, but in the end, Joseph decides to take responsibility and just kick the Pillar Men’s asses instead.

According to the timeline, Jolyne would’ve been around 6 or 7 years old during part 4. We didn’t see her back then because Jotaro didn’t want to drag her into danger but, what if she had actually come to Morioh with him?

This American doujinshi puts Josuke and Okuyasu in charge of young Jolyne and baby Shizuka for the day. It’s heartwarming to see Jotaro actually being a good dad (Jolyne recalls him playing “warrior vs wizard” with her, which really involves him using Star Platinum to throw objects around), but it’s even cuter to watch the Morioh Jobros repeatedly fail at babysitting. The author also has a short comic about Shizuka as a preteen, something that we never get to see in canon.

If you think about it, it’s incredibly tragic that Joseph had to outlive his best friend Caesar by over 60 years. Stelle shows that, in his old age, Joseph created a beautiful gravesite for his fallen teammate and regularly goes to visit it with Jotaro. He tells Jotaro about his journey to defeat the Pillar Men, lamenting that the last words he shared with Caesar were part of a heated argument that was never resolved.

However, Joseph has made peace with reality. He says, “Even though I’ve already forgotten his face and voice, he’ll definitely be the first one to come get me when I die.” And in a flash-forward, we see that Joseph really does meet up with Caesar in the afterlife. It’s a bittersweet story, but it fills a hole in our hearts that we didn’t even know we had.

If you thought that last doujinshi was sad, Until We Eternally Rest begs to differ. This comic examines how Phantom Blood would change if Dio had accidentally turned Jonathan into a vampire with the stone mask (which, if Dio hadn’t tested it on a random bystander, absolutely would’ve happened).

As a vampire, Jonathan still keeps his kind nature and refuses to feed on humans or even show his family what he’s become. He slowly suffers as his loved ones mourn his disappearance and presumed death, while living on as an eternally young man who they would no longer even recognize. Phantom Blood’s ending was tragic, but we’re at least relieved that it didn’t turn out like this!

Dio is flamboyant and hilarious already, but what if he was a tiny chibi person? How to Dio is a series of gag comics depicting the events Phantom Blood and Stardust Crusaders as they would’ve happened if Dio was small and adorable.

His coffin is too small for treasure hunters to bother with, he has trouble throwing knives and extending his flesh bud tentacles because his reach is so short, and he immediately regrets sucking Joseph’s blood because it transforms him into his buff canon self (which reminds him of what he hates most about Jonathan). The author also wrote How to Jotaro and How to Kakyoin, which are similarly bonkers.

Honorable Mention: Clamp in Wonderland 1994 Summer by CLAMP

CLAMP, who are successful manga authors in their own right, also like to write doujinshi. This one has an infamous reputation among the JoJo fandom for its mind-boggling depiction of Kakyoin laying an egg. It’s a symbol of his and Jotaro’s love and hatches into a child named Jouta... and we’ll just leave it at that. CLAMP’s later manga Wish is also a thinly veiled Jotaro/Kakyoin fanfiction, but our brains already hurt just from the egg thing, so that’s enough CLAMP for one day.