Look, One-Punch Man might be the story of the world’s (universe’s?) strongest man and his ability to one-shot even the toughest of foes, but we at Honey’s Anime think we’d do a pretty good job ourselves. Saitama got to where he is by doing a famously simple training regimen every day, and although we definitely don’t have the willpower to train ourselves until we go bald, we still think we could take down a few of Saitama’s enemies.
So today on Honey’s Anime, we’re donning our rubber gloves, shaving our heads, and facing off against 5 Monsters From One-Punch Man That We Could Totally Take In a Fight!
5. Messenger of the Seafolk
Starting down at the Wolf-rated level, we’re serving up some freshly cooked calamari with the Messenger of the Seafolk. Appearing in J-City during the Sea Monster Arc of the manga and anime, this monster proclaimed the surface as the territory of the Seafolk before the big-daddy-of-the-oceans came to tear our heroes a new one.
Now, we’re not big on seafood, but from what we hear, roasted squid is pretty good, and of course, how could you forget takoyaki? We’re thinking a large enough flamethrower and, boom, J-City’s saved from the apocalypse and they’re eating well for months! We’ll consider the ethical implications of this another time…pass the soy sauce, please?
4. Black Roast
Hmm, a nice steaming cup of coffee with a little sugar and milk. Ahh, the perfect combination of relaxation and caffeination after a long day of saving people from the un-ending monster threats. Debuting in Volume 15 of the manga, this aromatic villain had undertones of Tiger-level threat, with a rich aftertaste of getting one-shotted by an A-Class Hero. An excellent blend, we must say.
Now, as far as we’re concerned, Tiger-level threat or not, Black Roast has a huge flaw in his defenses — his head is literally a coffee cup. The battle plan is: we let him get comfy, wait for him to sit down (preferably on a kitchen counter), and then let a cat loose on him. Five minutes, maximum, before Black Roast meets the Paw of Doom and ends up shattered on the floor.
Next threat, please!
3. Awakened Cockroach
Demon-level threat?! For a cockroach? Puh-lease. Scuttling out as part of the Monster Raid and Monster Association arcs in the anime and manga, this oversized insect caused a heap of trouble for our heroes, including Genos!
Awakened Cockroach might be incredibly fast, but this writer lives in the land of nightmarish insects — Australia. That’s right, it’s time to call the Thunder Down Under (metaphorically speaking), and we’re bringing the heat with Professional-Grade Roach Spray. We’re not talking about that watery stuff you buy in the supermarket, nope, we’re going straight to the insecticide department of the hardware store.
For good measure, how about a few cockroach baits? In case we miss, we’ll catch him out next time!
2. Hotdog
Y’know, we’re starting to question some of the monsters in One-Punch Man’s universe. Supposedly humans turn into monsters after manifesting something — so was this person formerly a hot-dog-lover? Did they ignore their grandma’s advice that “you are what you eat”? Did they work at a hot dog stand in Chicago until they eventually became one with the ‘dog? WE HAVE QUESTIONS.
In any case, the Wolf-class threat Hotdog is, indeed, a giant hotdog. Complete with ketchup and bun, he’s a nice simple hotdog without too many of the lavish “upmarket” toppings. Obliterated by Tatsumaki in the bonus comic of Volume 10’s manga, we can think of much better things to do than attack this deliciously defenseless monster.
Pass us a napkin, would you? The mustard’s dripping onto our shirt...
1. Crablante
You could probably guess we were going to pick Crablante for the number-one spot, and no, it’s not because we think we could eat Crablante if we had enough time and a sufficiently large enough lobster-cracker. (Although, much like the Messenger of the Seafolk and Hotdog, we have to wonder just how tasty these humans-turned-monsters actually are...)
Crablante takes the top spot because, out of all the monsters shown in One-Punch Man, he genuinely was defeated by an ordinary person. Saitama was just a salaryman, fresh out of a failed interview, when he chose the hard road of heroic justice and defeated this villain.
In doing so, Saitama set himself on the path to becoming the strongest hero the world had...never heard of. And he inadvertently created the Hero’s Association by saving the kid that had drawn nipples on Crablante to start with, so hey, the world has a lot to thank Saitama for!
Final Thoughts
One-Punch Man is a strangely nostalgic throw-back to the era of big shounen like Dragon Ball Z, but with the wacky self-referential humor that’s almost making fun of its own influences. The monsters are incredibly strong despite having such dumb designs, which makes it all the more entertaining to read (or watch, since the anime was done so well!).
So how about joining us to do 100 sit-ups, 100 push-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 kilometer run? We’ve got about 3 years to go, so let’s get started!!!
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