Zoro is many things; strong, dedicated, tense. But the one thing that he definitely does not excel in is having a sense of direction. If being told to go left, he’ll go right. A blind man would have a better chance of reaching his destination without directions than Zoro does. It is actually possible for him to get lost on a straight path with arrows pointing to where he needs to go. This has led to the many characters on the show getting frustrated and angry with him in an almost slapstick fashion throughout the series.

His sense of direction, or lack of, has led him into many strange situations, most of them hilarious. He could accidentally split up with the crew and stumble into a villain’s lair, proceeding with a can of whoop ass which ends with the bad guys on the floor mumbling their apologies. Or he could just disappear for half an arc only to appear in the right place by sheer chance.

Funny or not, has no one questioned precisely how weird it is that the First Mate of a pirate crew does not have a sense of direction at all? Granted, they have a navigator for the heavy duty…navigating. But to be on a crew that sails the seas and not be able to find your way for even the most basic of circumstances seems to be a recipe for failure. How is this guy the First Mate again?

By best we meant worst if you were wondering. It’s not as if many other characters in the series are much more creative with their attacks. Luffy just uses variants of weapons like pistols, whips or axes. But Zoro has an absolutely hilarious way to name his attacks. One such attack is Onigiri, one of his most basic attacks in which he simply swipes his two swords across the other, cutting the enemy in an X shape.

Those of you who have watched anime to exhaustion might be very confused at this point. Why is his attack called rice ball? Onigiri in Japanese means rice ball. It is a staple dish that many eat throughout the country and can be purchased anywhere, even the thousands of convenience stores that dot throughout the country. You might have seen your favourite anime characters eat them at some point or another. But Onigiri can also mean Demon Cutter; Oni meaning demon and Giri meaning cutter.

It’s either a horrible play on words or a funny pun that relies on the user’s ability to understand Japanese. It doesn’t stop there, though. A signature move of his called 36-pound cannon, where he shoots out a shockwave using his blade, became stronger after the timeskip. So what does he proceed to do? He names it 360-pound cannon.

You’ve seen your fair share of manly men. There are the Alex Armstrong of Full Metal Alchemist or the Maito Gai of Naruto. But today we put forth the fact that Zoro is the manliest of the manly men to ever exist. Why? Because of a very simple question; do you even lift brah? The average weight that a male can deadlight is expected to be 133% of their body weight.

If we approximate his weight to be around 80kg, taking into consideration his muscle mass despite his lithe body, then the amount he's expected to be able to move with two hands is around 106kg. And this is with extreme effort and proper form mind you. Yet, this monster of a man is able to swing his swords with extreme and gargantuan weights attached to them as casual practice.

To deadlift a heavyweight is ten times easier to swing a sword in perfect form, much less a sword that has been outfitted to be much heavier. His muscles are so packed and dense that his arms are not just able to swing the weight sword, but his body is able to keep in perfect balance while doing so as well. There are very manly men in the world of anime, but Zoro is the manliest man of the manly men to emasculate us all.

It’s no secret that One Piece is a Shounen anime through and through. This means never ending adventure, happy endings all around and fighting for the sake of your friends. Unfortunately, this also means that romance is a no-go for about the first 90% of the series, and often times for the whole series as well. The two female characters on the crew, despite being absolute bombshells, will remain romantically unattached from any of the male characters on the crew, or even the ones outside of it.

This disinterest isn’t one sided too. None of the male characters seem to be remotely interested in any females. (Note: Sanji does not count. He’s a pervert who has no chance.) There are many occasions in which Robin or Nami try to fluster Zoro, but they are almost never successful as he looks away with a disinterested grunt. In fact, the only one who ever seems to be able to fluster Zoro is Sanji.

The two share a rivalry to be the right-hand man of Luffy, despite Sanji already being the cook of the crew. They can never get along and always bicker, causing Zoro to break his usually cool façade to have shouting matches with Sanji. Whether it be about his poor sense of directions or when random insults are thrown at each other, the two will always have something to fight about. What was that phrase again?

“You two argue like an old married couple.”

Zoro is very much the cool type. He is stoic and always tries to say cool lines when he’s in battle. He doesn’t let much get him down and always tries to support everyone on the crew to the best of his abilities. But like everyone else, he’s very much a human too and it shows when the time comes for the depth of his character to shine through. Here we will see that even manly men can shed tears.

Everyone remembers the pinnacle moment during the Baratie Arc. Quick Recap: Luffy stumbles onto a boat restaurant when it is invaded by Don Krieg. Don is being chased by one of the Shichikubai, Dracule Mihawk. Dracule is also known as the strongest swordsman in the world, a title that Zoro is aiming for. In a bout of recklessness, Zoro challenges him despite not being anywhere near his power and is left bloodied and near dead on the floor.

As he lies on the ground in defeat, he sheds tears of anger and pain. With a sword held aloft, he declares, “Until the day that I become the strongest swordsman, I will never be defeated. Do you have a problem with that? Pirate King!” It is at this point that his loyalty to Luffy is cemented by a promise that will last through the ages. In his moment of weakness, he resolves to become a stronger man that will fight for his captain.
And that is why Zoro is the worst First Mate ever, and by worst, we mean best.