A demon naturally wants to cause chaos, and Satanichia is a master of havoc (in her mind at least). As heir to the throne of Hell, Satania subverts expectations every chance she gets. You may have some skeletons in your closet, but there’s no way they hold a candle to a demon like Satania. Unless you’ve bought a gun with the intention of shooting someone, you’re just not evil enough to stand next to Satania. Granted, the gun she bought could only shoot bullets that made people laugh, and she ended up getting shot rather than shooting, but it’s the evil intent that counts.

Putting aside the small misstep with the gun, let’s look at some of Satanichias successful malefactions. During a cooking class, she purposely didn’t follow the recipe. When recycling a plastic bottle, she didn’t separate the lid and label from the bottle. Satania personally caused Gabriel to fall into a state of laze. Okay, she didn’t really, but she was happy to take credit for it. If you feel feel the evil aura emanating off of these very sentences, you were probably homeschooled. Despite her best intentions, Satania is a supreme cream puff (Just don’t tell her that!).

It would be remiss to not follow the last section up with a mention about how persistent Satanichia is. She tries her best (at being bad), but it never seems to be enough. Despite her best attempts, it seems unlikely that Satania has ever intimidated anyone. Annoyed? Sure, but not intimidated. If you were feeling reductive, you could just boil this down to Satania’s simple-minded nature, but we’d like to believe that her indomitable spirit gets the credit.

A good example is the dog who steals her melon bread every morning. She could just walk a different way to school. We might just find a different path to take, but Satania is determined to make it to school the way she wants with her melon bread in hand. In fact, during a routine morning walk to school, Raphiel comes across Satania in a confrontation with the bread-stealing-dog. Raphiel suggests Satania take another path, and right then and there Satania resolves to defeat the dog in one blow, just to prove to Raphiel that she won’t be intimidated by a mutt. I mean, the plan doesn’t work out, and the dog steals the bread once again, but we can see that Satania has a will of steel.

Let’s talk about some cute, great things. Cats reaching their paws under doors to try and get something on the other side. Babies trying to eat and sticking the spoon into their cheek instead of their mouth. Dogs getting their heads stuck inside of peanut butter jars while trying to get some grub. What is the common thread between these scenarios? All of these are instances of animals trying to solve problems with delightful results. While donning the cloak of humanity, Satania is faced with many new situations and she doesn’t always have someone reliable (no, Raphiel does NOT count) to help her out.

When Satanichia tries to solve problems, the results are often as cute as the earlier given examples. Actually, her brain capacity seem to parallel dogs, cats, and babies too. Satania, seeing Gabriel as her rival, comes up with a plan to defeat her by buying a revolver. When that doesn’t work out, Satania wastes no time in pivoting her plans to defeating Gabriel in a game of shogi. Unfortunately, Satania doesn’t know the rules of shogi and believes all of the rules Gabriel makes up to explain how the game works. This is sort of the way things go for Satania, because her problem solving prowess never seems to be up to the task of solving the actual problems at hands but...that’s where point number two comes into play.

Demons! Evil! Hell! Kindness? Satanichia may be from Hell, and her sole reasons to live may revolve around ruling all humans, defeating Gabriel, and causing chaos on Earth, but she can’t seem to avoid helping when she’s needed. When faced with the choice of doing the right thing or not, sometimes the answer can be sort of situational. When it’s raining out, people tend to hurry from one place to next, umbrellas clutched in hand. What happens when you see someone walking without an umbrella? Do you divert your path to help them? Probably not, because you have somewhere to go.

Satanichia really does help people in need though. When her tormentor, Raphiel, has to walk home in the rain with no umbrella, Satania offers to share her umbrella. When her classmates don’t know how to order lunch, she helps by ordering lunch for them. But most important of all, she adopts the dog who is always stealing her bread. That’s right, when she finds out that the dog is going to be sent to the pound, she adopts him without thinking twice about it. When she finds out that her landlord doesn’t accept pets, she still doesn’t let the dog go - she decides she’ll just have to find another place to live! Satania may be a demon, but she’s a demon with a good heart.

We do a lot in the name of love. It’s immensely satisfying to cook a meal for a person. In a way, it shows your desire to give them life, it shows that you want the best for them. The unfortunate reality, though, is that often times cooking is hard! Have you ever tried to cook a nice meatloaf for a loved one, only to serve up a bit of charred tire? How about some pie a’la yuck? Dried garlic disaster? No matter what made up dish you decide to fail on, you’re in good hands if you’re serving it to Satanichia.

In Gabriel DropOut, we see Satanichia eating unsavory foods. What she calls a delectable, we would call detestable. What does this mean for you? One less point of pain. One more area where you can shine - we have to assume that as long as the food looks good, Satania will love it, because she’s totally taste deaf! A couple of major benefits to her taste deafness are: cheap meals out; no need to buy expensive seasonings; easy to impress with your culinary skills; no need to be embarrassed when you take her home to meet the family and your mom cooks a terrible meal! It’s honestly not surprising to find out that on top of everything, Satania can’t taste the difference between steak and shoelaces.