Gal*Gun might be a controversial title, but infamous as it is, the original game never made it to the West. That's why all fans of this cult classic were so excited about Gal*Gun Returns, a remastered version of the first Gal*Gun. Would you like to learn a little more about this ecchi release? Keep reading!
You Lucky Son of a Gal*Gun
In Gal*Gun Returns, we play as Tenzou, an unpopular shy boy who has nothing the girls at school would find attractive. Since every person, regardless of their looks and personality, should have at least a chance at love, a young angel decides it's time to lend Tenzou a hand. Theoretically, she would fire an arrow at him just like Cupid would... but things got a little out of control, and Patako ends up shooting 16 arrows at him. From that moment, Tenzou unwillingly became a walking target for all girls at Sakurazaki Academy!
What would you do in that situation? Take advantage of it? Well, that's not the case for our guy. Tenzou wants to shoot them down with pheromones, of course!
Be Careful What You Wish For...
No, Tenzou is not stupid nor asexual. He really likes the opposite sex, and he really wants to fall in love, but thanks to Patako's accident, he has only one day to find true love or he will lose every chance to fall in love in the future. Gal*Gun Returns is kind of a dating simulator, giving Tenzou several romantic options to explore, while at the same time it's an on-rails shooter where you must escape innumerable hordes of lascivious female teenagers.
Imagine old-school on-rails shooters like The House of the Dead or Time Crisis, but this time with non-threatening characters, a comedic tone, and colorful scenarios. That's Gal*Gun Returns for you. And when we say old-school, we mean old-school...
This is a remaster of the very first Gal*Gun game, released in 2011, so it does include a lot of new small details, but the gameplay mechanics and graphics are mostly the same. You might get used to it, but it's far from being the most polished game ever, and the Switch version makes it all more evident. The gameplay mechanics are as simple as they come, the graphics are okay-ish at best, and the plot is just an excuse for you to enjoy these waifus. If you truly love this kind of game, then you'll have a blast playing and replaying Gal*Gun Returns... otherwise, please do some extensive research before buying it and regretting your decision.
Don't Worry, There's Nothing Obscene Here (Just Play Using Headphones!)
Gal*Gun Returns is only available on PC and Nintendo Switch. If you head to the PlayStation Store, you'll find Gal*Gun: Double Peace, Gal*Gun 2, and dozens of DLC costumes, but what about Gal*Gun Returns? And why is this remastered edition not on Xbox either? Well, censorship, friends! Sony and Microsoft didn't accept Gal*Gun Returns because it's not safe for work (and of course, the developers were not happy about this puritanical decision). All that being said, we still got a very tamed version that features no nude characters, and sex references are minimal. However, not everyone will dare to play such a game about horny schoolgirls in public... even less so when they are not shy about moaning when you shoot them. There's nothing wrong with some lewd elements, but are you prepared to be questioned about your gaming preferences?
Gal*Gun Returns is not a bad game, but it's objectively more limiting—and therefore, less fun and interactive—than Gal*Gun 2. If this is the first time you hear about the saga and feel like giving it a chance, then buying yourself a copy doesn't sound like a bad idea; just be warned that there's a better, improved option out there (Gal*Gun 2 is cheaper on Steam, yet you can pay extra for a VR experience). If you already played Gal*Gun 2, please lower your expectations before buying Gal*Gun Returns...
It's cool to have a Western version of such a classic, but we feel like, as dull and short-lived as it is, Gal*Gun Returns doesn't make a difference either.