In Season 2 of Oregairu or My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, we saw the heartwarming moment when Hachiman Hikigaya expressed his feelings honestly in front of Yui Yuigahama and Yukino Yukinoshita. Hachiman said that he doesn’t need anyone to understand him. Instead, he wants to understand, to know someone inside-out because he is terrified of the unknown. He acknowledges how selfish and arrogant this wish is yet he wishes to share this desire with someone to fully indulge in this experience together. This laid the groundwork for the most awaited moment in Season 3 when Hachiman confessed his love for Yukino.
From that monologue, there are a few key conditions that could possibly define the Genuine. It is important to note that all of these conditions have to be met together, that they are not independent of each other, for a relationship to be considered genuine, at least according to Hachiman. These conditions to be met were: trust, communication, faith, room for growth, selflessness, and desire. The conditions were collectively met throughout Yukino and Hachiman’s friendship and culminated in the last arc which resulted in their relationship.
Trust and Communication
A genuine relationship has trust and communication. Both can only be achieved in the presence of each other. Communication lays the foundation to nurture trust. As we watched Hachiman and Yukino grow together, somewhere along the way, they realized they trust each other more than anyone else. Their conversations were candid and honest, without looking to please one other by being nice. In the ride at the theme park, Yukino and Hachiman shared a moment where Yukino shared her fear of such rides. However right before the ride plunged down, she held onto Hachiman lightly, telling him to save her someday. This shows the unspoken trust between the two. This is also linked to what Shizuka-sensei said,“If words aren’t enough, pair it with your actions.”
When Hachiman confessed to Yukino, he said that both of them have zero communication skills. While this is true, he still took the step to tell her that. That in itself was communication on his part. It was an acknowledgement of his flaws and he voiced it out hoping to make amends. This shows that for a relationship to be genuine, there must be mutual trust―to know that the other person is going to be genuine around you in thought and action, that even if they fail, they will continue to strive to get their feelings across, to overcome anything that prevents them.
Faith and Room for Growth
A genuine relationship is also rooted in faith. This faith comes from trust and communication. From their very first meeting, both of them knew what the other person was like. They did not pretend around each other. Instead, from the get-go, the two show their true selves and this serves for the better. While they wanted nothing to do with each other in the beginning, they learnt to know each other truly, with no facades. This paved the way for trust and faith which eventually bred feelings.
In Season 2 Episode 7, Yukino says that if a small change could break their bond, then it wasn’t strong to begin with. This is what faith in a genuine relationship is—to know that the other person would not leave you over issues, big or small, that they would instead be true to the character they’ve shown you so far and help with working it out. Their communication and trust in each other laid the foundation for their bond. This means that they acknowledge that both of them are flawed, selfish people. However, this truth, which has been apparent from the beginning, strengthens their bond such that issues and inconveniences will not break the bond.
Selflessness and Desire
A genuine relationship is selfless yet filled with desire. What I mean by this is how Hachiman and Yukino have always wanted the best for each other. When Yui was with Hachiman, he said that if Yukino decided to stop associating with them on her own, it was okay. But if she did this purely to compromise, that’s something he cannot accept. Yukino had pushed Yui and Hachiman together because she thought it to be the best for Hachiman. This shows that they do not think about themselves, they think about what’s right for each other, having their best interests at heart. This selflessness coupled with communication is quite effective as we see in the last confession.
When Hachiman confesses to Yukino, he says that he cannot keep himself away from her. He expresses that he knows he’s being incredibly selfish wanting to be by her side, to distort her life a little like he put it. But one thing to note here is that Hachiman wants to be with Yukino because he enjoys her company. Her company does not provide him with any tangible benefits except joy and happiness. He wants to be by her side with no ulterior motive. Being in Yukino will not give him any emotional fulfillment like in the case of codependency. What Hachiman means when he says he wishes to distort her life is to go on with their lives, exactly the way it is but together. Their lives will not change dramatically at this new found relationship; it will remain the same for the most part except instead of being alone, they will be together because it makes them happy to be together.
We hope you enjoyed this analysis about the genuine relationship and how it manifested itself through Yukino and Hachiman. Their relationship is truly enviable but it is achieved only with much work as explained above.
Do you think there was something we missed in our analysis? Or do you agree with it? Let us know your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!