[Anime Culture Monday] Top 10 Weirdest Pieces of Anime Merchandise

We anime fans love our merchandise—figures, plushies, t-shirts, key chains, and the like are all pretty par for the course at any convention booth or special interest store. But though this kind of swag is undoubtedly nerdy already, it’s nothing compared to the bizarre anime-branded products we’ve dug up for you today. Some of these are readily available on sites like Amazon or eBay, others are Japan-exclusive oddities that ran for a limited time, and a few may only exist in the ethereal realm of internet rumors. Let’s start this wild ride!


10. Million Girls Project Upskirt Umbrella

Million Girls Project is a Japanese brand that sells kooky gifts, all of which play into the “crazy Japan” stereotype. One of their most audacious offerings is an umbrella that features a cute anime-style girl on the outside... and a sneaky view of her panties on the inside. You can choose between first-year and second-year high school student designs, each with a different girl and color of panties. Use in public at your own risk!


9. Anime Character Coat Hangers

Does your closet bore you? Do you wish your favorite anime characters could model your clothes—or better yet, your cosplays? You’re in luck! In Japan (or on eBay), you can find a wide variety of coat hangers shaped like the head and shoulders of characters from popular shows like Attack on Titan and One Piece. As odd as this idea looks on paper, it actually sounds like a fun way to spice up something as utilitarian as clothing storage. Imagine Nami wearing a bridesmaid’s dress or Eren in a maid outfit. We’d love to see these coat hangers all over the place at conventions!


8. Attack Anti-Bacterial EX Super Clear Gel Sponsored by Captain Levi

It’s a pretty common practice in Japan for brands to partner with anime studios to feature their characters on everyday products (such as Code Geass’ infamous collaboration with Pizza Hut), but this one is just so perfect that it stands above the rest. Captain Levi, the ultra serious supersoldier from Attack on Titan who also happens to be a massive clean freak, was chosen to be the mascot for detergent brand “Attack” for a limited time.

Consumers were allowed to vote on Twitter for the design of the bottle, cap, and Levi’s pose on the label. The pose chosen was “Levi undressing you with his eyes while pouring out detergent”, and the slogan was “laundry with no regrets” (a reference to Levi’s prequel side-story, “A Choice with No Regrets”). Who knew cleaning product brands had such a sharp sense of humor?


7. Dragon Ball Hair Styling Wax 7 Super Hard

The Dragon Ball series is known for its gravity-defying hairstyles, so it’s no wonder that it has its own hair styling gel! Bandai collaborated with cosmetics company Creer Beatute to create three different strengths of hair wax, each of which are packaged in little containers shaped like Dragon Balls. They even have carrot essence for moisture, a play on Goku’s birth name Kakarrot. And unlike most items on this list, the wax is easily purchasable for Westerners on Bandai’s website or Amazon. It gets raving reviews!


6. Monster Musume 7m Miia Dakimakura

Miia is a full size lamia girl with an extremely long (and sensitive) tail, so the only dakimakura that could do justice to her size is one that’s 7m (23ft) long. Monster Musume’s booth at Comiket sold these pillow covers for around $800 each when they debuted in 2015, and although you can find them cheaper online nowadays, the question still remains—how are you supposed to stuff the thing? Well, it would require frankensteining around 4-5 standard body pillows together, but those who have the true desire to be engulfed by Miia’s luscious scaly tail will do anything to be closer to their lamia waifu.



5. Sagamiya Foods MS-06 Zaku Tofu

Sagamiya Foods is a company that makes high quality tofu-based desserts, which seems to make them an odd choice for a Gundam collaboration. But somebody there is obviously a huge mecha fan, because their Gundam tie-in molded desserts have been crafted with love and care down to the tiniest detail. Their first offering in 2012 was the MS-06 Zaku Tofu, which was specially made from edamame beans to match the green color of the robot and came with a unique spoon modeled after Zaku’s signature weapon.

Since then, they’ve rolled out more tofu desserts based on Z-Gok, Dom, and Big Zam—each with its own accessories and special promotions. It’s heartwarming to see such devotion poured into something as simple as a mass-market tofu snack, but we guess that’s just evidence of the massive impact Gundam has had on Japanese culture!


4. Ahegao Toilet Paper Roll

If you regularly attend anime conventions, you’ve seen your fair share of ahegao merchandise. It’s easy to spot the few dedicated congoers who deck themselves out head to toe in clothing that’s plastered with the comically exaggerated orgasm faces of hentai girls, all of which can be purchased from the 18+ sections of dealer booths. But when facemasks, shoes, and sweatshirts aren’t enough, rumor has it that certain vendors carry rolls of ahegao toilet paper.

Other than displaying it proudly on your merch shelf or using it for scandalous purposes, we can think of a few more ways to have fun with this toilet paper. Why not make yourself into a cheap mummy for your next convention, or prank houseguests by making it the only butt-wiping implement in their bathroom? The possibilities are endless!


3. Yuri!!! on Ice “I’m a Tasty Pork Cutlet Bowl” Watchmen Beanie

“I’m a tasty pork cutlet bowl” is a famously silly line from Yuri on Ice, but it makes enough sense in context—Yuri doesn’t understand how to incorporate passionate love into his skating routine yet, so he decides to interpret it as desire for his favorite food. Most pieces of merchandise that use this quote help fill in the context by putting a picture of skating Yuri beside it or rendering the text in a flowery font... but it seems like Hot Topic missed that memo.

This beanie features the iconic quote in a blocky, boring font on a flat teal background with no visible anime branding except for a tiny logo patch on the back. The disinterested model completes the awkward image, leaving us to wonder if the person who designed this hat even watched Yuri on Ice at all.


2. JoJo Series “Star Destroyer” and “Silver Renegade” Vibrators

So... Star Platinum and Silver Chariot. One is a muscle-bound warrior wearing very little clothing, and the other is a sleek robot with a fancy rapier. Sure, they’re spiritual manifestations of Jotaro and Polnareff’s fighting spirits, but it’s not like they aren’t attractive. Does that mean that themed vibrators called the “Star Destroyer” and the “Silver Renegade” need to exist? Honestly, we don’t know.

There’s no record of an official JoJo collaboration with an adult toy brand, so it’s entirely possible that these product pages are just Photoshop mockups and nothing more. But when the descriptions include gems like “you can experience Star Platinum in a whole new way” and “by the time you’re done, you’ll be screaming, ‘Silver Chariot!’”, we think it would be a crime not to include them on this list. Ora Ora Ora indeed.


1. EVA x DRESS Fish Grip Grasper EVANGELION-01 Unit 01

Neon Genesis Evangelion is one of the most heavily merchandised anime ever made, and its reach extends far past the usual trappings of t-shirts and figures. You can find chopsticks, soap dishes, dumbbells, bowling pins, humidifiers, dehumidifiers... but our favorite has to be this fish grip modeled after the EVA Unit 01, cleverly marketed with the slogan “You mustn’t run away, even from big fish”.

Fishing equipment brand Dress designed this grip, and even combined it with a themed smartphone app to measure anything you catch. Since fish grips are expensive specialized tools used by anglers to safely handle fish after they’re caught, it seems like such a collaboration would have a pretty niche audience. But the sales don’t lie—the first run of EVA Unit 01 fish grips flew off of shelves faster than Shinji can run away from his problems.


Final Thoughts

Would you buy any of these products? Which ones did you think were the weirdest? What strange anime merchandise have you found online or at cons? Let us know in the comments, and thanks so much for reading!

Monster-Musume-7m-Miia-Dakimakura-Wallpaper-2 [Anime Culture Monday] Top 10 Weirdest Pieces of Anime Merchandise

Writer

Author: Mary Lee Sauder

After the hard-hitting East Coast lifestyle hit me a bit too hard, I started pursuing my passion as a writer in my cozy home state of Ohio. Aside from that, I spend my time cooking, cosplaying, collecting anime merch, and being an improv comedy actor. I also love sneaking alliterations and stupid puns into my writing, so be on the lookout for them! 😉

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